Recently someone asked me how I could possibly want to attend births. Why would I want to stand by and watch a woman writhe in pain for hours on end? What could possibly be gained from putting my personal life on hold for weeks at a time waiting for a woman to spontaneously go into labour? The financial gains could not account for the many sleepless nights awaiting the call. Or night after night talking to an anxious mom wondering if these contractions were actually the real thing, only to fall back asleep (iphone in hand) just before my kids come bounding into the room saying "Good Morning Mommy!" Sometimes I wonder myself what I signed up for. I've been squirted with amniotic fluid, been awake for 36 hours straight, walked empty cold hallways at 4am and will gladly do it again.
Birth is messy, exhausting, unpredictable and intense. Birth is beautiful.
I fall in love with birth again and again. I'm not a doula who is concerned with what choices a mom makes. A birth could never be measured in epidurals, episiotomies or emergency c-sections. The mother herself is the only one who knows what is right for her body and her baby in that moment. There is no good, there is no bad. Birth just is. There is no room for ego or pretending to be anything other than what you are - a beautiful, strong and powerful woman. Helping women find the strength to birth their baby, to look into their eyes when they weep "I can't do this anymore" and tell them "Yes, you can" and believe it with every fiber of my being means more to me than I could ever explain. I don't attend births for the money, most doula's would attest that the sacrifices far outweigh the financial gains. I attend births because women need someone to believe in them. During labour if she loses faith in herself, even for a moment, and looks outward for help - that is where I'll be.
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