Walk to Remember - Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Early Infant Loss

Walk to Remember: Honouring Little Lives Lost

momstown attended the Walk to Remember this year as a group.  Some of us have lost little ones and many were there just for support.  The event always surprises me because it's such a sad topic yet there is so much positivity and hope.  We have attended the walk every year since we lost Maya and it affects me differently every year.  Every year I grow and my grief has changed.  Although I miss Maya and think of her everyday, I feel at peace and this year's walk meant so much to me.  To be surrounded by women who care so deeply for me and my family that they put aside a whole saturday afternoon to support us was overwhelming.  

At the walk each year every family releases a balloon for the children that they've lost and that childs name is written on the sidewalk.  This event is so unbelievably touching and every year I feel more at peace with my loss.  I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to share this day with my momstown mama's and family. I hope the walk brought some closure to those who were there to mourn their children and understanding for those there to support their family and friends.

 Kate Inglis spoke at the event, she is a blogger and a fellow Angel Mama.  Her words touch me every year but this year the words below really resonated with me so I thought I'd share.

"You might say, My Baby is gone, and I don't know how to feel. I don't know how to breathe, I don't know how to walk, I don't know how to exist when my baby doesn't. I don't know what to do.

Four years into this, I don't know either, to most of it.

But I can tell you what to do.

In the last moments, you looked at your baby and you thought the same thing I did.

Please live. I don't mind if you dye your hair kool-aid blue. I don't mind if everything you believe turns out to be different from what I believe. I don't care who you love or how you love, as long as you find some and give some. I don't mind what you're into, as long as you're safe. I just want to support you. I want to witness you. I want to see the things that make you smile. I want you to have the chance to be. To be happy.

Please live.

And then your baby died, like mine, and unconditional love was illuminated for you. You might have thought you knew what it was before, but you probably didn't. Now you do.
Carry it with you. Every single day, turn that into compassion for other people, all of whom started out as somebody's baby.

When you're moving through the world, you'll come across people with blue hair, who live differently and love differently and speak and think differently, who are perhaps in every way -- aesthetically, spiritually, culturally -- the opposite of you. Or maybe they're not sure what they are yet. Maybe they're struggling. Maybe they have nightmares too.

Extend them the same compassion that you would have given your baby, had you been given the chance. Regardless of how they align -- or don't align -- with you.

It's one of the only things you can do, after a loss like this. To treat others the way you would have liked to treat your child. With care, with hospitality, with humility.

It's a daily practice, and it does bring some peace, to look at every person and think, There goes somebody's baby. Could have been mine.

And before you're finished, extend some of that compassion to yourself.

That's what you can do."

 

  

Doodle Bear = Lots of Fun!!

This toy really brought me back to my own childhood.  I always wanted a Fisher-Price Doodle Bear as a child, needless to say I never did get one.  My daughter was so excited when she saw this adorable bear, and that was before she knew she was ALLOWED to colour on it!  She's also a huge fan of ballerinas so she was thrilled with the design.

My daughter is 4 and she's very much in the artist stage.  She loves writing, colouring and painting anything, she's always looking for ways to be creative so this bear really hit the nail on the head.  Once she saw the markers she looked at me and said "I can colour on this bear??" She literally played with this for well over 1/2 hour, which in child time is like a century.  She handed it to me when she was done and said "Okay, put this in the washer so I can colour it again!"  What's really neat about this toy is that you can conveniently store the markers on the Doodle Bear's back!

She has taken this out and coloured it again and again and it even stays in her bed to cuddle with too. I am so glad my daughter got to enjoy what I thought looked like a fantastic toy when I was her age. It has definitely lived up to my childhood expectations and as mother it exceeded them!                               



How to make the cutest Sock Snowmen

Our moms had a great time getting crafty with these adorable sock families!

In just 2 short hours we had entire snowville made complete with 25 of these snow people!

Heres how you can do it at home:

What youll need:

-one white sock

-one colourful or Christmas sock

-string

-2 elastic bands

-Assortment of buttons 

-wooden bbq skewer

-any decorations you want to add *see picture below

- glue gun

How to:

1) Cut white sock straight across just above heel

2) Fill sock with rice, needs to be stiff (if you use the ankle part of the sock you'll need to tightly place an elastic on the end and flip the sock inside out)

3) Tie elastic around the top of sock leaving some fabric out (this will keep his hat propped up)

4) Cut decorative sock above ankle and just below heel (if using a short ankle sock you need 2 - cut one at toe and heel, the other just below the heel *see picture)

5) Tie string around neck to create a head

6) Fold extra fabric under, place toe section of sock on head and tie hat with decorative bells etc.

7) Glue two small buttons on as eyes

8) Cut bbq skewer and colour with orange marker for nose

 9) Decorate with whatever you have to bling out your snowmen

 That's it! Then you can make a whole family! Here are the ones I made to represent my family!

Dana McDonnell with Snowville also sells ready made kits

To purchase one please email: danamcdonnell7@gmail.com

What IS momstown??

This is the question I get asked the most. What IS momstown??? Why should I pay for a playgroup??

momstown is so much more than a playgroup! momstown is the best way to connect with real moms in your community.  You can get to know these moms on our message board and in person.  They are real, down to earth people with enormous hearts.  They are just like you guessing their way through this motherhood thing. Whether you're looking for advice, a referral, a hug or a laugh, you'll get it all with momstown. 

momstown is a community.  I always have a hard time explaining what momstown is. It's like trying to describe a city, there are so many reasons why I love the Edmonton Region but it's hard to narrow down why I enjoy living here; I love the scenery, the opportunities, the activities, the community feel, the events, the variety, the energy, and most of all the PEOPLE.

The reasons why I love living in Edmonton are the same reasons I love being a part of the momstown community.  We are a town, a town of moms. A town full of diverse and interesting people.  A town full of energy and fun. A town full of events and variety.

Here's an example of our calendar and what kind of events our members have access to:

Sign up here to become a part of this great momstown community and experience all that the Edmonton Region has to offer! 

The Gift that was the momstown National Conference

I was excited to head to Ontario last weekend to learn about where momstown is and where we are headed!  I was looking forward to gaining new skills and tools to manage this business.  I wanted to come home refreshed and with new ideas for our members.  I got all of that out of the conference, and so much more.

The most valuable thing I've walked away with is a sense of community with my fellow licensees and a sense of awe at what we are accomplishing all across Canada.  I met twenty amazing women working as hard as I am to do something great in their communities.  In each of these towns and cities we are connecting moms and we are creating opportunities for real friendships.  We are giving moms who are struggling a soft place to land where they know they'll be welcomed with a listening ear and an offer of help.

These twenty women have the same frustrations and joys that I have. We were able to share with each other what works and what doesn't.  As a new member to this team I am as grateful for what momstown has created for our members as I am for the network of support they've created for the licensees.


This conference meant the world to me, it has left me ecstatic about our vision for momstown and so motivated to continue building an amazing organization that connects real canadian moms.

Want to why so many real moms have joined the community?
Register for a 2 week free trial membership and find out what all the buzz is about : )

A Tablet convert thanks to the Toshiba Thrive

I always thought that tablets were an uneccesary device, I just didn't get the point of them.  Between my laptop and my Iphone I figured I had my bases covered.  I found out that Toshiba had provided four Thrive Tablets to test and give away to momstown at our national conference I thought that it would be fun thing to win, but wasn't sure what use I would have for it.

The first day of the conference I was the first one to get my hands on the tablet!  I turned it on for the first time and it took me all of 30 seconds to be connected to the internet, hooked up to my gmail and logged on to the momstown message board!  The android platform is easy to learn, being both a PC and Apple user I find it just as user friends as the others.

I will confess that the Toshiba Thrive tablet has converted me to a tablet addict - who knew I could be addicted to another electronic device?! I've used it to read on the bus on the way to work, I've used it in a meeting to take notes and brainstorm, followed recipes on it while it sat conveniently on my counter while I cooked and both my kids and husband have learned to use it...and I've had it less than a week.

The Thrive is easy to use, easy to set up and so unbelievably convenient.  Considering the high ratings and lower price to comparable tablets I would definitely put this high on my list of must give christmas presents this year!

There are two ways for you to win this year! Click here to find out!

My 1 Year Old Uterus

What is it about your baby turning one that has you doubting your decisions? Is it those first few words? Watching them finally let go of your hand and take those first few wobbly steps? We decided we'd have only two babies but all of a sudden that nagging voice says, "I wonder what having three would be like?"

There are so many reasons that having only two would make sense for us. Our house has only three bedrooms and they are way to small to share. The toll it would take on us financially for me to be back on maternity leave and then the cost of putting them all into daycare when I went back to work (if I went back to work?) I haven't even begun to think about paying for another set of ballet, piano or soccer fees, let alone university in the not so distant future. My heart doesn't seem to be considering budgets and square footage though. None of these rational thoughts seem to make those nagging thoughts quiet down.

I wonder if most parents go through this tug of war between heart and head. I hear so many people say, "I am SO done" and I definitely don't feel that way, but I do agree that not having anymore children would be the easier.  This story from momstown Barrie makes me a little terrified to be outnumbered!  It seems like such a final decision to make at twenty seven; I keep thinking that I might change my mind when I'm 35 or even 40. If those first steps cause so much confusion I can only imagine what sort of emotional hurricane I will be in watching my babies climb onto that big yellow bus or sit in the drivers seat of a car.

Sometimes I look at that sweet baby...toddler (okay there I said it) and think this can't be the last time. It can't be the last time I feel the unmistakable flutter of a sweet miracle in my tummy. It can't be the last time I lay awake in the middle of the night so grateful to stare at the angel nestled in next to me and it can't be the last time that I feel my baby's hand wrapped around my finger. So are we done having babies? The more I think about it the more I don't want to make a decision. Why do I feel so much pressure to decide right now anyway? I know I can't make any rational choices staring into those big blue eyes and hearing them giggle, finally learning to play together. It's like grocery shopping when you're starving. For now, we'll enjoy our girls and see what the future holds.

Remembrance.

For as long as I can remember, I have gone to a ceremony for Remembrance Day. Most often, it was one done through a school. I am not sure when they started to mean more than getting out of class and going to an assembly to me, but somewhere along the line, I realized what that assembly was actually for. I remember one ceremony in particular. I think I was in Grade 11, and as part of our social studies class, we were required to participate in the ceremony. We rehearsed and performed a sort of "re-enactment" of one of the battles in World War II.  All I remember is the sound of gunfire and having to pretend I was dead in front of our whole school. I remember thinking how awful it would have been to be surrounded by real gunfire. What would those brave soldiers have been thinking as they were hearing that gunfire?  What were those soldiers' brave families thinking as their husbands and wives and sons and daughters were hearing that gunfire?

The ceremony that moved me the most, however, is the one I went to when I was newly pregnant with E. I was working as a supply teacher at a K-12 school. That day, I was sitting in the front of the gym with a Kindergarten class. I don't know if it was the hormones coursing through my veins, but I cried through that whole ceremony. It finally hit me what those sacrifices truly meant. I thought about the little baby I was carrying, and how every soldier was at one point a little baby growing in his or her mother's womb. And I cried. One little girl reached over and held my hand when she saw me crying, and that only made me cry more. There I was in a gym with over one thousand 5-18 year olds, secretly pregnant as we hadn't told anyone and I wasn't showing yet, and I was bawling, and a sweet five year girl reached out and held my hand.

I don't have any family that were/is in the military that I know of except for my mother's grandfather and mrblueberry's grandfather. I don't know what it feels like to have someone close to me make that ultimate sacrifice. I saw on the news today about a Canadian soldier who had been killed in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb. It was his funeral. I saw his wife carrying his little girl, wrapped in a blanket, and I broke down. He was deployed when she was ten days old. They showed one of the newborn photos they had done with her. At least he got to hold her, and smell her, and she will have those photos. But she will never have her dad hold her when she skins her knee. She will never have her dad look at her with proud eyes as she graduates. She will never have her dad walk her down the aisle, or hold her newborn baby. That whole family paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Remembrance Day means more to me now that I am a mother. As I snuggle E, and my new nephew, it truly hits me. I understand what those families lost more than I ever did. My heart goes out to every family who has felt that sacrifice, and to every family who has waited for their soldier to come home to them. Our veterans and military sacrificed a lot for us to have what we have. And sometimes, I wonder if my generation and the generations after me truly appreciate that. I hope I am wrong. I hope that they do. I hope that they realize that the sacrifice does not always come in war; often, it comes after when the soldier comes home. I hope that they realize what it means when we wear that poppy.

 

Thank you to Guest Blogger & momstown member Sarah Wallace for this post.  Check out her blog http://meditationsofablueberry.blogspot.com/ 

Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Puppy!

My kids get so excited when they see the Fisher Price box come in the door! They've learned that they get a new toy to play with and mom is going to be asking them what they think!  It makes my 4 year old feel so important!

The Fisher Price Laugh and Learn puppy is the culmination of all things kids love: animals, singing and dancing!  My daughters love the flapping ears and the puppy's cute wiggly
movements.  The puppy is so easy to play with, even my 1 year old daughter learned within a few seconds how to turn it on and change the music.  It is so adorable watching her dance and clap along with her new puppy.

I was surprised to find out that my four year old loved to play with it too.  She's carries it all over the room, talking to it and tucking it in under some blankets for a nap, she loves that it talks back to her.  I feel bad for the poor puppy though; he spends a lot of time tipped over because my kids think it's hilarious to hear him say 'Uh Oh' when he falls down.

I would definitely recommend this toy as a great Christmas gift for kids!  My only complaint is that I didn't get two; my kids are constantly trying to take it from each other! The Laugh and Learn Puppy is a hot item in this house! Check out this link for more reviews on Fisher Price toys by your momstown mamas.