Driving With Kids:10 Things That Are More Distracting Than My Phone

So we have a new law that states we can't be distracted while driving. This includes but is not limited to; texting, talking on the phone, and personal grooming.  I try my best to avoid all of the above and use Boobtooth (see below) when I have to talk on the phone.  


While I understand the idea behind the law I've got news for the government; the most distracting thing in my vehicle are my children.  I learned early on as a parent that my best multitasking happens in a moving vehicle.  I know it's not the safest place to complete more than one task, but like any mom knows it's completely unavoidable.  


Here are 10 things that I think are more distracting than talking on a phone:


1) Fishing around the floor of the backseat to find the toy that has been dropped and is causing a major meltdown
2) Trying to answer a 4 year old's 3000 questions: 

• Mommy, why are we stopped?
• Mommy, why are we moving??
• Mommy, what is that yellow thing???
• Mommy, how do you make a car????
• Mommy, what is that man doing?????

3) Trying to blindly insert a bottle into the right orifice of a screaming baby. Then dropping the bottle into an impossible to reach spot. 
4) Attempting to rock a screaming, hungry baby with one arm stretched beyond human limits. 
5) Trying to divert flying objects from landing under the gas peddle.
6) Getting hit in the head repeatedly with an escaped balloon.  
7) Trying to see the traffic in rear view mirror through said balloon (and managing to not go off the road when the balloon pops in my ear).
8) Divvying up on the go meals - including opening drinks, toys, and ketchup packets. 
9) Driving on less than 3 hours sleep plus listening to a combo platter of wheels on the bus and a screaming baby.
10) Breastfeeding an infant while on a road trip by hovering over the car seat to avoid a 6th stop in one hour (I know this one is bad, but totally necessary in this case.)


So Mr. Police Officer - next time you see me swerving all over the road and assume I'm texting, please feel free to pull me over. But be sure to take the real culprits for the afternoon, then maybe I'll get to drink my coffee and talk on the phone in peace ; ) 

Oh, and this is Boobtooth. I'm too cheap to spring for the
 Bluetooth so I've put these milk-makers to use!