Turning the Page: A New Chapter for a Working Mama

I've felt conflicted about returning to work since the day I stepped foot back in the office after my first maternity leave. I felt different. Changed. Out of place. I used to enjoy the work I did, I was ambitious and passionate about the investment industry (can't picture it, huh?). Three years into my five year plan my first baby arrived. I changed my goals temporarily and took a position that allowed me a little more freedom and a less scheduled day. Slowly my career has become a job; a means to an end. I spend my days missing my kids and wishing I could be working on something more meaningful. I've teared up watching a mother and her daughter climb the escalator on my lunch break and ached to stay home with a toddler who wasn't feeling well.

I've decided that my kids are more important than a job I have no passion for. In two weeks I will be fully self-employed and working from home. I'm excited for this new adventure and a little terrified too. I'm drowning right now, juggling full time work out of the home, a thriving at home business and my very busy family. I can't keep up and I can't continue at the pace I'm going. The most important things are coming dead last and they need to end up higher on the totem pole.

I've been shocked to hear the reactions to me leaving my job. Many questions about what I'm going to do all day, how I'm going to keep busy and how lucky I am to retire at 27. A co-worker on his lunch went as far as to ask me if I wanted to cut up his apple to practice for my new job. None of these people are parents or have ever spent anytime alone with children, but it still gets under my skin. I realized that this brave, scary and life-altering decision was being perceived as laziness on my part. I am no less ambitious and no less passionate than I was four years ago, but the things that I care about have changed drastically and my decision reflects that.

I have to be honest that sometimes the quiet of this office can be an escape from the chaos that is living with small children. While there is no joy in the paperwork or tasks, I admit that it is quiet and predictable. There is nothing easy about raising children, it is difficult, frustrating and unbelievably rewarding – everything that my current job is not. I don't expect this new journey to be easier, just different. Balancing working at home with small children and sneaking in business calls and meetings will be a challenge but I have the support network to do it. I finally get to bury myself in work that I truly love and enjoy my children while they are small.

My New Bosses: Demanding But Super Cute!