Liam's Birth Story - Home Birth to the Hospital...

To tell Liam's birth story I'll start with my previous births. My first birth was a natural hospital birth in Fort McMurray. Her birth also started my journey as a doula, I saw first hand a lack of respect and support labouring moms receive at the hospital.  For our next pregnancy we planned a home birth but unfortunately due to a serious complication we lost our little Maya and delivered her at the Royal Alexandria Hospital in Edmonton.  With Nolan we planned and carried out a perfectly amazing home water birth.  While I labored upstairs all my close friends and family gathered downstairs and waited to hear that sweet cry.  We were blessed with a fast delivery surrounded by love & support.

So with our fourth and final child we planned the same.  We bought all the home birth supplies which included plastic sheets, giant diaper like pads and a sieve (don't ask.)  We rented a birth tub from the wonderful people at Baby Birth Pools and had it set up weeks in advance.  We lost many hours of sleep to move our two younger children into the same room so the baby's birth room would be ready for the moment he decided to make his arrival.  The only regret we had with Nolan's home birth was that we had no good photo's of the birth. We planned ahead this time and hired Vanessa Brown, an amazingly talented birth photographer to capture every moment of our last child's entry into this world.  

With all the preparation complete, we waited.  And waited.  Finally after a fun night of crafting with my momstown mamas we decided to take a brisk walk, I told those ladies that I could still do a cart wheel even at 41 weeks preggo.  They didn't believe me, so I proved them wrong and did a near perfect cart wheel.  Apparently that cart wheel may have been the eviction notice little Liam needed as I woke up at 5 am with cramping.  

After an hour of timing contractions at about 4 mins apart we called the birth posse; midwife, doula/twin, photographer and parents.  Labour was consistent and I worked through contractions as everyone arrived to help with the kids and wait for our newest addition.  My husband frantically filled the birth tub as my labour's tend to be short.  

My midwife checked me at 9:30 am. I could tell by the look on her face that something wasn't right.  She said "I can feel the cord" okay big deal there should be a cord there, right? No. The cord had slipped in front of the baby's head and was presenting first.  It's called a cord prolapse. It's a complication that afflicts only about 0.5% of all pregnancies.  The risk of the cord coming out first is the head drops down and puts pressure on the cord, cutting off blood supply to the baby which can cause brain damage and even death in 15% of babies if not taken care of within minutes.  

As a doula, I knew all of this.  I knew that those two words were a life and death emergency.  She didn't need to explain or tell me what would happen next.  Janine called the ambulance at 9:52 am.  Paramedics were there in just minutes.  With my midwife holding baby's head off the cord and me on my hands and knees we headed to the hospital.  We live very close and but it felt like it took hours perhaps because of the awkward position and strong contractions.  Jeff was in the front seat of the ambulance but I didn't know he was there. 

When we arrived they whisked me into the OR and started prepping for a Cesarean.  It hit me at that moment.  Laying on the cold table, completely alone and terrified I realized that this was it, I really wasn't going to be able to deliver my baby.  I begged them to do a spinal rather than general anesthesia.  I knew the responsible thing was to put me under but I couldn't even fathom not being present for the birth of my baby.  I laid there completely in shock while they prepped me for surgery that I didn't want.  I managed to tell them I wanted no one but my husband to see the baby before I did. The last thing I remember was a nurse saying "When you wake up you'll be a mommy." 

Liam was born at 10:34 am just 40 mins after the call was placed to 911. He weighed 8lbs14oz and measured 21.5 inches long.  I woke up at 11:40 am in extreme pain.  My midwife was there talking me through what happened.  I didn't feel like I just delivered a baby.  Waking up to mommy hood just isn't the same.  All I wanted to know was that my baby was okay.  I needed him and I needed my husband.  Finally they both came in and I got to hold him.  I was so groggy that I don't remember much but I was happy to be near him and to have my husband close by.  

This was not quite the peaceful home birth we had imagined.  Like a nightmare, the whole scene replays in my mind often and the first few days I had anxiety attacks when I thought about what happened.  I've had a really difficult time coming to terms with losing everything I had planned for this birth.  I missed seeing him take his first breath, open his eyes, and hear his first cry.  I missed anxiously waiting to hear what he weighed and being the first person to hold him. I've actually felt like I have grieved all these moments, as they are something you just can't get back. 

As a doula, teaching prenatal classes and attending countless birth we always say "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." Those words could not more true. I've always thought everything happens for a reason and even though this birth was a virtual disaster I've felt a sense of relief over the anxiety that plagued this pregnancy.  I am eternally grateful to my incredible midwife who caught the impossible and literally saved my sons life.  Coming so close to losing Liam, it seems I have nothing but pure gratitude and love for this sweet baby. Maybe that's why I've gone through this horrible experience?  Maybe it's to help another mom in my doula work?  I'll never know why, but what I do know is that I love this little boy more than anything and if I had to, I'd do it all over again.

Thank you to Belle Photography and Design for
 the gorgeous photos of our little miracle baby!